A Little Perspective

Time has flown, and Austin is now eight months old! 

We've ushered in lots of fun with her first summertime festivities. She loves chilling in her baby pool,

swinging,

and going with mom and dad in the lake (especially without the hindrance of a diaper!). 

She also continues to love almost all food (strawberries still weird her out, but we're thinking they might be a bit too tart) and mealtimes are quickly becoming a favorite in our house. 

A few days ago, Austin was reaching for her spoon while I was feeding her. She quickly grabbed it (the girl is strong!) and shoved it straight in her mouth. But she was almost immediately upset because the spoon was empty. 

Big crocodile tears filled her eyes and spilled out onto her cheeks. 

"Sweetheart!" I said, "I have more!" I put some spinach on the spoon (Austin's favorite. Weird.) and let her taste it. 

Just as quickly as the sadness and frustration had come over her, she was now completely satisfied, happy to be right where she was and fully certain that I could give her whatever she needed.

The longer I'm a mother, the more God uses my role to teach me things about His goodness.

I've always been rather fearful about the concept of provision. Of course, God has never been anything but gracious to me; he has met—and surpassed—every need I've had. Yet there is this anxiety that wells up within me when I consider all the aspects of my life over which I have virtually no control.

So, because He is a good Father, God allows my relationship with my daughter to reflect His relationship with me. And in the moment when I was feeding Austin her spinach, God showed me that this was exactly how I acted with Him. 

As I accept everything He gives me, I am happy and content and carefree. But the minute I perceive an absence in His provision—even as He is filling the spoon to hand it right back to me—I am overcome with worry and fear.

This revelation made me laugh. First, because it's amazing that—at 29 years old—I am still such a child! And second, because God isn't surprised or thwarted by my reaction. He continues to love me, and he uses the moments in which I fear to draw me closer to Him.

I am so blessed by my daughter. Being her mom is such a gift! And I am blessed, too, that God uses everyday moments to shape me into the person He has called me to be: someone who doesn't worry about tomorrow but trusts in His unfailing love.